To hear the baby without waking both of you, the cry has to reach one person instead of one room. You can get there three ways: give the monitor to the parent on duty and put the other parent out of earshot, cover the sound on the off duty side with earplugs or white noise, or switch from a speaker to a silent alert on the on duty parent's phone or smartwatch. Most couples end up combining two of them.
Why it matters: a plan to take turns at night only works if the parent who is off duty actually sleeps. A standard baby monitor plays the cry out loud, so if it sits on a nightstand between you, you both wake up, and the off duty parent lies there listening. If you want the alert to reach only the parent on duty, that is the job Dozzi does, alongside the baby monitor you already have.
This is our main guide to baby monitors for couples. Below: why monitors wake you both, the main monitor types and who each one wakes, setups for different bedrooms, phone or watch alerts, whether you need a new monitor at all, and a checklist for tonight.
The short version
- A standard audio or video baby monitor plays the cry through a speaker, so it wakes whoever is in earshot, not just the parent on duty.
- Couples can keep one parent asleep with the monitor they have by giving it only to the parent on duty and adding distance, earplugs or white noise on the off duty side.
- A silent alert on a phone or smartwatch reaches one person instead of the whole room.
- Dozzi sends each cry alert to only the parent on duty, on their phone or smartwatch, and works with your existing baby monitor.
- No alert can silence the baby, so if the crib is in your bedroom a loud cry may still wake you both.
Why does the baby monitor wake both of us?
Because a baby monitor is built to make sure somebody hears the baby, not to choose who. The cry comes out of a speaker, and a speaker has no idea whose turn it is.
So it sits on the nightstand, it crackles, and two heads come up off two pillows. Even when the answer is "your turn," the other parent is now awake, listening to the feed, the diaper and the shushing. We dig into this in Why AI Baby Monitors Still Wake Both of You Up. Smarter cameras and cry detection do not change it: if the alert is a sound in a shared room, it wakes the room.
That matters more than it sounds. In a 2015 Johns Hopkins study, adults woken repeatedly through the night had lower positive mood after two nights than adults who got a similar amount of sleep in one piece by going to bed later. We cover why in Six Hours in Pieces. Two parents sleeping in pieces is usually a worse deal than one parent up and one parent getting a real stretch.
What kinds of baby monitors are there, and who does each one wake?
Here are the main categories, judged on one question only: when the baby cries, who hears it? This is not a full buying guide. Features vary a lot by model, so check the specific one you own or are looking at.
| Monitor type | How the cry reaches you | Who it usually wakes | Ways to keep one parent asleep |
|---|---|---|---|
| Audio monitor | Sound from a parent unit. Some models also show lights for sound level. | Whoever is in earshot of the parent unit. | Keep the parent unit on the on duty side, volume low; earplugs or white noise for the other parent. |
| Video monitor with a parent unit | Sound and picture on a handheld screen. | Whoever is in earshot, plus the glow of the screen. | Same as audio: one parent unit, one parent. Pass it at the handoff. |
| Wi-Fi camera with a phone app | Sound or a push notification on each phone with the app. | Each phone set to alert, often both parents. | Turn alerts off on the off duty phone, then back on at the handoff. |
| Alert add-on (Dozzi) | A silent alert on the on duty parent's phone or smartwatch. | Only the parent on duty, following the mode you pick. | Built in. Add earplugs if the crib is in your room. |
What can we do with the monitor we already have?
A lot, honestly. Before buying anything, try these. They are listed from least effort to most.
- Monitor custody. Only the parent on duty keeps the parent unit or the app alerts. The other parent's phone goes on silent or has the monitor app's notifications turned off for the night.
- Volume down, not off. Set the on duty parent unit as low as still wakes that parent. A lot of couples run it far louder than they need to.
- Pass it at the handoff. If you split the night by the clock, the parent unit or the alerts change hands at the switch time. Write the time on the fridge so nobody negotiates it at 2 AM.
- Sound cover on the off duty side. Earplugs, a fan or a white noise machine near the sleeping parent softens the monitor and the general shuffling.
- Distance. If you have a spare room or a couch you can live with, the off duty parent sleeps there for their half of the night.
Where should the monitor and each parent sleep?
It depends on your home. Where the crib goes is a decision for you and your baby's care team; we only cover where the parents and the alerts go. Here are the three setups we hear about most, and what tends to work in each.
- Baby in a nursery, both parents in one bedroom. This is the easiest case. The cry only reaches you through the monitor, so if the monitor reaches one parent, the other one sleeps. Monitor custody or a one parent alert does most of the work.
- Baby in a nursery, a spare room available. The off duty parent can sleep in the spare room for their half. It works well, but the person in the spare room often still has a monitor out of habit. Agree that they do not.
- Crib in your bedroom, no spare room. The hardest case, because the baby is the speaker. A one parent alert stops the monitor from waking you both, but a loud cry still can. Earplugs or white noise on the off duty side matter most here, and the off duty parent sleeping on the side of the bed farther from the crib helps too.
How does an alert that wakes only one parent work?
Here is how Dozzi does it. The Dozzi Base sits in the nursery on a shelf or dresser, 3 or more feet from the crib. When it hears a real cry, it sends a silent alert to only the parent on duty, on their phone or smartwatch. The other parent's phone stays quiet. The audio stays in the room.
You choose how it picks the parent on duty:
- Take turns: each new cry goes to the next parent in line.
- Schedule: you split the night by the clock, for example one parent until 2 AM and the other after, and the alert switches at the time you set.
- All Caregivers: alerts everyone, for the rough nights you want both of you up.
- Smart mode: available with iPhone plus Apple Watch.
Phone or smartwatch: which alert should we use?
Either can work. The question is which one wakes the parent on duty without waking the person next to them.
A phone on the nightstand is the easy start. Set it to vibrate and keep it close. The catch is that a phone buzzing on a wooden nightstand can be loud enough for a light sleeper to hear.
A watch puts the buzz on one wrist. It is about as personal as an alert gets, which is why a lot of couples who share a bed prefer it. It also suits Deaf and hard of hearing parents who already use vibration for other alerts. With Dozzi, a smartwatch is optional: Apple Watch and Wear OS 3 watches both work, and alerts can go to the phone only if you prefer.
Whichever you pick, check two things before bed: the device is charged, and its sleep or focus settings let the alert through.
Do we need a new baby monitor or just an add-on?
If your monitor does what you want for watching and listening, you probably do not need a new one. The problem most couples have is not the monitor. It is that the monitor tells the whole room.
Dozzi is an add-on, not a replacement. Keep the baby monitor you have, and Dozzi decides who gets woken. It works on iPhone and Android, mixed in one household, for up to 4 caregivers, so a grandparent or night helper can be on the schedule too. Android needs version 8.0 or newer. Like most baby monitors, it needs power and Wi-Fi and picks back up when they return.
It is $275 once with no subscription required, free U.S. shipping, and 60 nights to try it in your own bedroom, Rested or Refunded. It is on Babylist too, if you are still building a registry.
What rules make the setup actually work?
Gear handles the sound. Rules handle the rest. The couples who get the most out of their setup agree on a few things in daylight, not at 3 AM:
- Which split you are using this week. Cry by cry or by the clock. If you split by the clock and either of you can give a bottle, our post on splitting night feeds with a formula-fed newborn has a full two shift schedule.
- Off duty means off duty. No checking the app, no half listening. If the alert did not reach you, it is not your turn.
- Backup is asked for out loud. "I need you for ten minutes." Not a sigh, not a loud diaper change. A clear ask is easier to answer, and it does not start a tally. We wrote about why keeping score backfires.
- A ten minute check-in once a week. What woke the wrong person, what to change. If the whose turn argument already has history in your house, this post on the whose turn fight has a few ways in.
What should we set up before bed tonight?
You can do all of this in about fifteen minutes. Run through it together:
- Decide who is on duty for which part of the night, and write the handoff time down.
- Put the parent unit, or the only phone with monitor alerts on, on the on duty side.
- Turn monitor alerts off on the off duty phone, or set it to silent.
- Turn the parent unit volume down to the lowest level that still wakes the on duty parent.
- Give the off duty parent earplugs, a fan or white noise, and permission to sleep without guilt.
- Charge the on duty phone or watch, and check that sleep or focus settings let alerts through.
- Pick a time this weekend for the ten minute check-in.
For the full guide, see How to Split Night Duty With a Newborn: A Guide for Couples.
For the full guide, see Deaf and Hard of Hearing Parents: Night Alerts, Setups and Routines.
For more on this, see Is There a Baby Monitor That Only Wakes One Parent?.
Quick answers
Can I connect my baby monitor to only one phone?
Often yes. With most app based monitors you can turn notifications off on the off duty phone for the night. With a parent unit, keep it on the on duty side and pass it at the handoff.
Is there a baby monitor that vibrates on a smartwatch?
Yes. Dozzi sends a silent alert to the parent on duty on their phone or smartwatch, with Apple Watch and Wear OS 3 watches supported. It works alongside the baby monitor you already have.
Will a one parent alert work if the crib is in our room?
Partly. It stops the monitor from waking you both, but a loud cry can still wake the off duty parent, so add earplugs or white noise on their side.
Do we have to use the same kind of phone?
No. Dozzi works on iPhone and Android mixed in one household, for up to 4 caregivers. Android needs version 8.0 or newer.
From Kim and Ben
One cry, one parent
Dozzi sends each cry alert to only the parent on duty, on their phone or smartwatch, so the other parent keeps sleeping. Works with the monitor you have. On Babylist too.
About Dozzi: Dozzi is a small Base that sits on a shelf or dresser in the nursery, 3 or more feet from the crib. When it hears a real cry, it sends a silent alert to the parent on duty, on their phone or smartwatch, so the other parent can keep sleeping. It works with the baby monitor you already have, on iPhone and Android, for up to 4 caregivers. $275 once, no subscription required, 60 nights to try it. Made by Kim and Ben, two parents in Texas (our story).
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